Butterflies and Mules
by ForensicsFreak1988
Summary: When one of the women in his life is hospitalized, how will Grissom take it. Warning: the woman is not Sara or Catherine though this will be a GSR fic
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ya'll know I don't own anybody. Otherwise, Gil and Sara would be together. Brittni, I highly suggest not drinking anything while you read this. I don't want you spitting it all over your keyboard when you read the line. Anybody else, it's not something you would find entirely funny so don't bother searching for it. Oh and **_Italics_** indicate Grissom's mother's ASL lines, thoughts or the other half of phone conversations. **_/Italics/_** indicates anyone else's ASL lines. I had to do that because it got confusing when Grissom is signing with his mother, as to who says what. Anyway, on with it…**

_**4:30am **_

_**Crime Scene in North Las Vegas**_

Grissom's attention was pulled away from the body before him by the shrill ringing of his cell phone.

"Grissom," he answered.

"Is this Gilbert Grissom?" 

"Yes, who is this?"

"_Mr. Grissom, this is Dr. Avery. I'm a cardiologist at Cedar-Sinai. I'm sorry to inform you that your mother had a heart attack yesterday at about 9:30 pm."_

"What? Is she okay? I mean, of course not, is she going to be okay? How serious is it?" Grissom, normally calm and collected, was scared. Sara, who'd been working the now forgotten scene with Grissom, looked up at the frantic tone in his voice.

"_Mr. Grissom your mother should be able to go home in a few days, five at the most, but I have a feeling she's going to need monitoring after she gets out. She's gotten the idea in her head that she's fine and doesn't need to cooperate."_ Grissom would have smiled under any other situation.

"That sounds like her Doctor."

"You live in Vegas, correct?" 

"Yes sir."

"You may want to consider bringing her closer so you can keep a closer eye on her. At the very least, come and visit her."

"Oh, of course I will Doctor. This is my mother we're talking about."

"Very well Mr. Grissom, I talk to you when you get to LA."

"See you then" Grissom hung up the phone, the news settling over him as he started towards the car. He needed to get to the lab and put in his request for vacation time. After all, he had enough days saved up.

"Grissom." He turned around at the sound of Sara's voice. "Did you forget that I rode with you? Not to mention, you might not want to leave your kit at a crime scene," she pointed out, holding up the silver flight case in question. He grinned sheepishly.

"Right. I was a little distracted. Umm… I'll send Nick out to help you finish up, and you can ride back with him." He took his kit from her, turning to go.

"Where are you going anyway?"

"LA," he shot back over his shoulder, leaving her bewildered. _That guy drives me NUTS! And I'm still in love with him!_ She shook her head, turning back to the scene.

_**8:37am**_

**_Cedar-Sinai, Room 316, Los Angles_**

_/Hello Mother _he signed, walking into the hospital room

Gilbert, what are you doing here? You should be in Vegas working with that brunette you're always talking about.

_/Well, you don't take long to get to the point. What have I told you about Sara and me? Besides, shift's over/ _he signed, using the sign for 'butterfly' instead of finger spelling Sara's name, just as she normally used the sign for 'bug' in reference to him. She'd know what he was talking about.

Sometimes complicated isn't a bad thing.

/So, the doctors tell me you haven't been behaving. /

You're changing the topic.

/You're avoiding the question/ What question/Why are you giving the doctors a hard time/ Why are you so scared of Sara? 

/Answer my question. /

You first.

/Not sure. /

_Me either. Why'd it take a heart attack to get you to come visit me?_

_/Because whenever I do you don't want to talk about anything but Sara. By the way, I'm taking you back to Vegas with me. /_

_No you're not. You have your own life. You don't need me anymore. _

_/Actually, I don't really have much of a life and you need to be looked after. /_

_Do not._

_/We are not arguing about this now. You need to get some sleep. / _

_Do not._

_/Mother. / _He gave her warning look.

_Gilbert. _She fingerspelled this and Grissom could tell she was frustrated with him.

_/Good night Mother, I'm going to get some breakfast. You better be asleep when I get back. /_ He turned his back, walking out the door, ignoring her exasperated, "Gilbert Grissom."

_Well that went well, _he thought.

_**11:46am**_

**_Cedar-Sinai, Room 316, Los Angles_**

Grissom turned the TV on, flipping through the channels. He settled on a show about butterflies on the Discovery Channel. He doesn't know why, but butterflies have always reminded him of Sara. Something about their simplistic beauty. Even before Debbie Marlin. That's why he has them shadow boxed in his town house. He knows he loves Sara, he just doesn't know how to express it or what to do about it.****He's afraid of what might happen if he did do something. Not work wise; he knows she's worth that risk. Sure, he'd told Lorry that's why he'd turned her down, but it wasn't that. He was afraid he might lose her. Afraid he might be too late as she'd said he would be, and she'd run back to San Francisco. Leaving him alone, just as his father had.

"You need to talk to her Gil." He turned around at the sound of his mother's voice.

_/Good Morning Mother. / _He signed.

Not funny. I'm not kidding.

_/What's there to talk about with her anymore/ _The remorse was evident in his expression.

_How about your feelings for her?_

_/Can't/_

_Why not? _ He sighed, glancing at his feet and when he didn't respond, she added aloud, "Talk to me Gilbert."

/I'm scared. What if she runs? What if she loses her job because of me? She'll hate me for it. And least of all, what if I lose my job? She'd think it was all her fault, which it wouldn't be, but she'd torment herself over it. She's like you. /

How so? He smiled.

/Stubborn beyond belief. /

Well if she's so stubborn, then why hasn't she asked you out? Grissom blushed and his eyes returned to his Doc Martins.

/She has. /

"What! And you told her no?" Grissom knew that she was frustrated. He nodded sheepishly. Here he was 47 years old and being yelled at by his mother.

Go get some lunch Gilbert; she signed turning to look out the window.

**12:15**

**A small shop outside the hospital, Los Angles**

Grissom wandered the isles, content not to have a purpose beyond passing time. There was no way he was going back to the room to be yelled at like he was fifteen. He browsed, catching something out of the corner of his eye. It was a beautiful diamond necklace; only the diamonds were cut into almond-shapes and placed into a butterfly. He sighed. Couldn't he ever escape her? She'd completely captivated his life and she didn't even know it. He wanted so badly to have a reason to buy it for her, if only to see her smile. Up until about the first year or so after she'd come to Vegas they'd exchanged gifts on any occasion when they'd have an excuse. Christmas, Birthdays, he'd even brought her back souvenirs from conferences, simply because he enjoyed showering her with gifts. But, they'd fallen out of the habit. What would she say if he bought it for her? He could save it for birthday, which was… shit! Her birthday was next week. Would she be grateful, or would she become annoyed with his mixed messages? He sighed, realizing it would most likely be the later. Why couldn't they make it work? He wanted so badly to make it work. To be able to put away his fears. But, the fears where so deeply rooted that he wasn't sure he could do it. Grissom could remember little of the years after his father had left beyond school, and sitting in his room, reading, wishing he had a father to go outside and play with. Sure his mother took him outside, but five-year-old Grissom still missed his father. Eventually, he'd gotten used to the loneliness. To change that would be too risky. He sighed. Walk away from the butterfly, Gil. The problem was, he didn't want to walk away from the amazing combination of brains and beauty that was Sara Sidle.

**12:37pm**

**Cedar-Sinai, Room 316, Los Angles**

Hello his mother signed as he walked into the hospital room.

/Hello. / He walked over to his suitcase, opening up the smaller compartment, and pulling out a book. He noticed his cell, realizing he hadn't turned it back on since the flight. Taking it out, he turned it on. He checked his voice mail. 5 new messages. The first one was from Catherine.

Gil, Sara said you left her at a crime scene and gunned it out of there like it was on fire, telling her only that you were going to LA. Is everything okay? Call me when you get this.

The next one was from Jim.

You gotta be careful about leaving so spontaneously. We'll start thinking you've got a girl down there. Call me.

The last three were from the same person. A person who'd been much talked about in the last four hours

Grissom, it's me. Uh…call me when you get this.

_Grissom, is everything okay with your mom? Call me._

_Damn it Grissom, now you've got me worried. Would it have killed you to give me more than a two-letter answer? Call me._

He closed the phone, putting it back in the suitcase. He walked over to the chair, opening the book.

"You're not even going to call her?"

_/Who Mother/ _

_Don't play dumb with me Gilbert. It doesn't suit you. Seems to me I taught you better than to ignore a girl when she leaves you three messages. _He sighed.

_/ I'd just be an emotional mess if I called her, Mother. /_

_And it would kill you to let the girl know she can make you an emotional mess?_

_/She'd laugh. /_

_This is a fact?_ He sighed.

_/Fine. I'll call her. /_ He got up, walking over and getting up, he grabbed his cell phone. _/but I'm not doing it in here. /_ He informed his mother. He walked out of the room and downstairs. He decided he'd go outside. Once there he sighed, his finger over the speed dial. He took a deep breath and before he could change his mind, he hit the button. She picked up on the second ring.

"God Grissom. Eight hours to return my call?" 

"Actually, I've only been in LA for four hours."

"_So, you going to tell me what's going on with your mother that had you so frantic this morning?"_ He sighed.

"She had a heart attack."

"Is she going to be okay?" 

"I only briefly talked with her doctor when I first got here this morning, so I don't know much, but she definitely seems okay," Grissom said, adding to himself, _I mean she's been pestering me about you all morning._

"_How are you?"_ Her question caught him off guard and he found himself answering with

"I don't know Sara. She's always been extremely healthy. It's a little hard to realize she might not always be around."

"Yeah, it's amazing how quickly you can find yourself virtually parentless."

"Sara…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insinuate that what you went through… This is nothing compared to that…"

"What are you talking about? You didn't insinuate anything." 

"I just thought that maybe you thought that…" The smile in her stubbornly Valley-Girl lilt was both obvious, and contagious.

"The great Gil Grissom just jumped to a conclusion."

Finding it hard to be mad at her, he wasn't very convincing when he said, "I most certainly did not Ms. Sidle. I was simply… covering my bases." There was an awkward silence before Grissom came up with, "So Sidle, how'd the case go? Being the great CSIs that you are, I'm sure you and Nick have already solved it?" Had Grissom, back behind his mask, been listening to her tone, rather than her words when she began telling him about the case, he would have detected her disappointment at the subject change.

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I hope you like it so far. As always, read and review. Just to warn you I'm finishing up another fic before continuing with this one, I just got hit in the head by this idea and it refused to go unwritten.


	2. Homesickness and Road Trips

**Title: Homesickness and Road Trips By:ForensicsFreak1988**

**A/N: Hope you like this too. Contains spoiler for Nesting Dolls.**

**10:47am**

**Cedar-Sinai**

**Two days later…**

"Well Mr. Grissom, I must say your mother is quite the fighter. She's strong. However, as I've said before, she really should be somewhere she can be monitored. No fast food. No extreme exercise. She should have bi-monthly check-ups. I realize it may be hard to take, but she's not the strong, healthy woman she was. She needs to take care of herself."

"Of course, I've already got a friend looking into houses, and I do have a guest room. Do you have any particular recommendations as to doctors, Dr. Avery?"

"Well, there are a few great cardiologists in Vegas that I feel will be helpful. I can give you a list of contact info before your mother is discharged later."

"Thank you, doctor."

"It's a pleasure, Mr. Grissom. I had a friend back in San Francisco who was into entomology. She respected you immensely, Dr. Grissom."

"Thank you. I better go see what trouble my mother's into now." Dr. Avery smiled at Grissom who smiled back. So this guy was from San Francisco. He knew he'd liked him.

**11:34am **

**Cedar-Sinai**

**Room 316**

Grissom sat in the chair, staring out the window watching the people pass on the street below. His mother slept on the bed behind him. Though he'd never admit it, he was worried about her. Something had struck a nerve when Dr. Avery had said, "she's not the strong, healthy woman she was." She was, after all, his mother. He needed her around as long as he could have her. Gil Grissom didn't like change, and as little time as he spent with her, the death of his mother would definitely change his life. Pauline Grissom was about the only person her son felt he could trust. If Grissom lost her, he knew he'd lose his grip on his self and that would make his job (not to mention working with Sara) hell. Suddenly, Grissom was knocked out of his thoughts by his phone. Taking it quickly out to the hall, so as not to wake his mom, he answered.

"Hey Griss. It's me"

"Sara," he said, quite unnecessarily. She knew who she was. "What is it? It's 11:00. You should be sleeping." He heard her sigh.

"I couldn't. How's your mom? Shouldn't she be out soon? When are you coming back?" He grinned wryly at her child-like bombardment of questions.

"Mom's fine. She'll be out later today, and we'll be back Friday night. Okay?" When she said nothing, he added, "What's wrong? Are you stuck on a case? Need my help?" She sighed again.

"No. We know what we're doing. I don't know…I guess it feels kind of weird around here without you. Maybe I'm just jealous. I miss California." He smiled. _As I would in your place. _Then, without thinking about what he was doing (for once in his life), he blurted out, "You wanna come down and help me pack some of Mom's things?"

"What?" It was the excitement that came unbidden into her voice that made him continue with his suicide plan.  
"Take tonight, Wednesday, and Thursday night off. Drive down, and you can stay at my mom's house. We'll visit LA and you can help us haul stuff back. I'll need some help."

"Are you sure?"

"Sure" (read: HELL NO) By the time he hung up, having given her his mom's address, he had convinced himself that he'd just made the biggest mistake in his life. Read: Second biggest.

**4:56pm**

**Mrs. Grissom's residence, LA, of course. **

Walking up the sidewalk, Sara Sidle bit her lip. Should she be here? She'd come close to turning around several times during the journey, and still wasn't convinced she shouldn't have. Then, about to ring the bell, she heard a female voice yell, "Gilbert! You nearly burnt the biscuits! If your not going to be helpful, go read or start packing or something!" and she relaxed. After about a minute, having contained her laughter, she rang the bell. A moment later, an elderly woman opened the door.  
"Hi, nice to meet you," she greeted.

"Ahh…you must be Sara. So nice to finally meet you." They shook hands, and Sara smiled. Pauline muttered, "Yes, I see what he means," before adding, "Please do come in, dinner's almost ready." Sara walked around her, and she shut the door. "Gilbert get in here and greet your guest. I'll watch the food." Grissom came in, his cheeks slightly flushed at being scolded in front of Sara, who found it hilarious. After Mrs. Grissom had left, Sara smiled at Grissom.

"Ya know, I think she has a point. You need to work on your people skills," she said, her tone meant to let him know she was teasing. However, his face fell.

"Why does everyone tell me that?" he demanded, exasperated. Sara laughed.

"Because it's the truth."

"Umm…Sara?'

"Yeah?"

"There's something you need to know about my mom."

"She's strong-willed? I like that."

"She's deaf." Sara was silent for a moment, but only a moment.

"So that explains the signing. So, you'll play interpreter?"

"Oh, if you speak clearly and slowly, she shouldn't need me. She'll let you know if she can't read your lips."

"Oh, okay," Sara said, slightly embarrassed.

"Are you two lovebirds going to come and eat?" Pauline demanded. They blushed, hurrying in to the kitchen. "Not in here. In the dining room. Gilbert, grab the broccoli. Sara dear, can you grab the biscuits?" Both adults obeyed, Sara saying playfully to Grissom, "They don't look burnt to me." Grissom threw the potholder that he'd just used to set the broccoli on the table at her.

"Gilbert Grissom!" scolded Pauline Grissom, coming in with a pot of spaghetti. "Go get the sauce." But, as Sara was grinning widely, that was as far as her scolding went. Both females sat facing each other.

"It seems my son doesn't know how to behave. I did raise him better." Sara smiled.

"Oh, it's okay Mrs. Grissom. I've worked with him long enough to realize that last part," Sara said, remembering to speak slowly. It was Pauline's turn to smile. Grissom came in, and joined them with a suspicious glance at the shared smile. As they began eating, Sara was nicely surprised to find there wasn't a meat product on the table.

"You actually remembered I was a vegetarian?" she teased.

"Remembered hell. I had to ask him. And even then he took 14 minutes to remember." Sara smiled, while Grissom blushed. "So, Sara dear, tell me about yourself." Now Sara blushed slightly.

"Well…I work with this guy named Gil Grissom…" she started mockingly. Both adults laughed, Pauline saying, "No, really."

" I grew up in San Francisco. I went to Harvard, but transferred to Berkley. That's how I met your son. Stumbled into one of his lectures." She smiled at Grissom, who smiled slightly in return. "Worked in 'cisco for a while after college. Then, well, Holly Gribbs happened. I'm sure Grissom has told you about that."

"Yes, of course. Such a tragedy, poor girl. But you've only told me about college and your adult life. Tell me about your childhood" Sara froze mid-bite, and Grissom winced. How could he have forgotten to warn his mom not to bring that up? Tears came unbidden to Sara's eyes, and Grissom avoided her gaze.

"Sara, you don't have to. She'd understand," Grissom informed her. Mrs. Grissom nodded, saying, "Of course." Sara shook her head stubbornly.

"No, it's okay. I need to face it. I've tried leaving it in San Francisco but it didn't work. My parents were these crazy hippies. We had a B&B near a beach. I loved that beach. I used to sneak out and go down to the beach. I'd always get hit for it later, but I guess I found it worth the pain, for some reason. Point is, my father was abusive." Grissom felt a blazing hatred for her father as he tried to stop his own tears, and Mrs. Grissom placed a reassuring hand on Sara's. Sara smiled at the older woman, and continued. "One night…he went after me with a knife. My mom went ballistic. She was screaming, and she ended up stabbing him to death with the knife. Afterwards, all I could do was cry and cling to the hand of the service worker. Then, I spent my teen years shuffled around foster homes, and eventually I learned not to get attached to any of the families. They were never permanent. I guess that's why I can't hold a relationship," Sara finished, at this point talking more to herself than to Mrs. Grissom. They sat in silence for a while, until, finally, Grissom asked, "So tell me about the case." Sara could have kissed him as she realized he'd realized she'd needed the deversion.

"Well, it was this thirty-something male found in his bed, half-naked, but you know that. Turned out to be a gay guy who'd hit on the guy, who was straight and turned him down, and decided to try and rob the place, but he ended up killing the guy, then started to undress him, but got grossed out, so he stabbed him a few more times and left."

"Sounds fun," Grissom said, meaning it. Sara just as seriously nodded concluding, "It was."

"Oh Sara, dear I must tell you about this time when Gilbert here was just a little boy…" Mrs. Grissom started, unaware they'd been talking because she'd been eating. Sara grinned, as Grissom winced muttering, "Please mother…" but she didn't hear him. Sara just smiled. Later, getting ready for bed, Sara found Grissom. "You know Grissom, I had no idea you were such a colorful child." Grissom groaned. "Don't worry, I won't tell I _too_ many people at work, though I can't control how many people Catherine tells… Good night…Gilbert." Try as he might, Grissom could do nothing but be glad she was smiling again.

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**CSIfreak89-**You always need sleep. And I really don't think you get your craziness from your mother…not at all. And please, DO walk away.

**Veronica10-**Well, why else would she be going to Vegas- I think she's a little past the showgirl thing. LOL grins evilly

**Special Agent Meg- **Thanks. Grissom's mom is definitely a fun character to write

**Sidle Chick- **Love the screen name. And thanks blushes.


End file.
